The Southeast Region is no stranger to Sinkholes. They have gobbled up cars, traffic signs, homes; whatever they need to survive. Usually, they are no major threat to humans and civilization, until now.
Yesterday, while waiting patiently to place his order at a Sonic Restaurant, Steven the Sinkhole was disregarded by Sonic employee, Debbie Burnett. "We don't serve your kind," Burnett said snidely, walking away. And that's when Steven's rage and hunger took over.
"I know I may have overreacted a bit, but you don't know what it's like to live right under a Sonic. I've been trying to stick to my diet of dirt and rainwater, but I see all these people enjoying their Foot Long Coneys, Sonic Burgers, and those Sonic Blasts Ice Cream Treats. I just couldn't help myself. I was really hungry, dammit!"
That's when the sinkhole went berserk and tried to eat the entire Sonic franchise. The owner, Al Miller commented by saying, "Maybe we shouldn't rush to judgment about this sinkhole. He does have a point. We do rent the land, but who pays him? I just want everyone to know that we here at Sonic, do not condone the actions of Ms. Burnett."
Burnett was placed on administrative leave from the restaurant, pending an investigation. "This is ridiculous! I don't why my boss has to take the sinkhole's side. He [the sinkhole] is always looking up my skirt whenever I'm working. And he never carries any money with him. He just uses whatever change he finds on the ground," said Burnett.
Meanwhile, the sinkhole has been taken into custody by the White County Police Department. He has been charged with 1 count of reckless endangerment and 1 count of trying to eat a restaurant. His trial is set for September 6th.
-Silly's Soft News
Silly's Soft News, your silly news source...updated whenever we are feeling particularly silly.™
