Boy Scouts Told To Put Down The Smores

Dickville, WI

The days of sitting around the campfire, roasting marshmallows with chocolate and graham crackers is a past time for Boy Scouts. A new requirement by the National Boy Scouts of America will take effect in January that will bar boy scouts and scout volunteers from participating in their programs if they have a body mass index or "BMI" over 40%, which defines humans as Morbidly Obese.

Silly Soft News spoke with Dr. F. Murray Abraham about the growing obesity problem. "There are many risk factors with teens and adults taking part in strenuous activites that carry such weight. These fuckers need to put down the cheeseburgers and smores and eat a carrot every now and then. Perhaps some bark and berries like the good ol' days," states Abraham. He suggests a reduced calorie diet, and a steady work-out plan that includes light to moderate walking. "These fat bastards should walk from here to Timbuktu."

The concerns for a more healthier diet comes from National Cub Scout Master, Roger Jennings "I have noticed a sharp increase in the incidence of fatter Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts over the past five to ten years. I would just like to see these boys take better care of themselves. I remember the days when Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts were thinner, toned, and attractive. I dream of nights by the campfire with these fine young men once again."

-Silly's Soft News

Silly's Soft News, your silly news source...updated whenever we are feeling particularly silly.™