Levi Was Thinking With His Johnston

Wasilla, Alaska

Their on again, off again relationship may be heading for "Shitsville" for good. 

After announcing their engagement on July 14th, Bristol Palin's wedding to Levi Johnston may be called off. Lanesia Garcia, the ex-girlfriend of Johnston, claims that he may be the father of her unborn baby. 

News of the pregnancy spread like wildfire throughout the tiny town of Wasilla.  Johnston admits to having a sexual tryst with Garcia during his brief separation from Palin last year, but claims he is not the father. 

"Fuck, man! Can't I just get laid without getting somebody pregnant?!" a frustrated Levi shouted, knocking over a garbage can outside Chepo's Fiesta Restaurant. "That's the last time I run a train on that girl," referring to Garcia. 

As Levi got into his car, he slyly admitted, "I couldn't help it though. Lanesia is a hot piece of ass." Regarding the future, Johnston says that he plans to start wearing rubbers if things with Bristol don't work out.

-Silly's Soft News

Silly's Soft News, your silly news source...updated whenever we are feeling particularly silly. ™ 

Levi Johnston Already Bored

Wasilla, Alaska

New reports have emerged in the engagement of Levi Johnston to Bristol Palin. "I feel genuinely bored," says a disillusioned Levi. "I thought it would be fun and exciting being a young, married couple. But all Bristol does is bitch at me to do my laundry, put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and change the baby." When does it start to get fun wonders the 20 year old Johnston. "I can have a baby. But I can't have a beer, rails Johnston. I'll just have to deal with it until next May," Levi says stoically. Johnston referring to his 21st birthday where he plans to get shit-faced every night thereafter until their inevitable divorce.

-Silly's Soft News

Silly's Soft News, your silly news source...updated whenever we are feeling particularly silly. ™